The air in the room was thick and damp. It enveloped her like a
pall.
At first, Sarah was listless and then she could not move.
Her fear was palpable. No one could understand it. She was so
beautiful.
And so full of life.
The doctor puzzled; the priest prayed the rosary; and the shaman
quaked.
The anticipation was overwhelming.
And finally, they all understood they were powerless.
The future was inevitable.
A shadowy figure appeared in the room.
With a black cloak and scythe.
He handed them to Sarah and said, “I'm sorry I took so long to
make your costume. But it had to be perfect!
Tonight, you will personify Death when you go out trick or treating.”
And Sarah’s friends, dressed as a doctor, a priest and a shaman
were so relieved, now that they knew that she would be able to join them.
____________
I wrote this for Trifecta Week 46 Writing Challenge where are to
write a 33-333 word composition using the word death in the context of a
destroyer of life.
Great twist on the story! You had me wondering until the very end.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tara. I always worry about whether I've kept the secret. lol!
DeleteHa! I love it. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bo.
DeleteMwahahaha! I love it. The makings of a good joke, too! A doctor, a priest and a shaman walk into a bar...
ReplyDelete...and they ordered Bloody Marys, what else? I accept the challenge. I will write a joke about the doctor, priest and shaman and post it very soon (before I lose my motivation!) Thanks Jeanna.
Deletedelightful!
ReplyDelete♥
Thank you so much dani!
DeleteIt sucked me in and I got nervous at first then I could feel the joke. Fun, fun and clever ending. Well played!
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DeleteThanks Gina. I was hoping it would take a while before they realized that the joke was coming. I was inspired by several of your pieces where you were quite effective with this approach.
Deletelol awww that made me smile :D I was seriously worried about the girl for a minute there though...
ReplyDeleteThanks Draug. Yeah, I was worried about her too since I wrote the beginning and I wans't sure what the surprise ending was going to be. I might have just had to kill her!
ReplyDeleteHee! Very clever. This was kind of like a Halloween costume itself - scary on the outside, and sweet on the inside. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Christine. Yeah, I guess you could say the writing cloaked the true story here lol!
DeleteAh, this was great. The doctor, the priest and the shaman. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kelly.
Deletenice ending!! Not what I was expecting :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Carrie. :)
DeleteOh, you tricked us! And I love that. Well done, as usual!
ReplyDeleteThank you Stephanie. I love when I can trick somebody. Tis the season, right?
DeleteGreat twist. I was wondering. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Mel. I'm glad I kept you wondering, at least, for a while. :)
DeleteDidn't see it coming. Very well done. (RogRites)
ReplyDeleteThanks Rog. That was my biggest fear, that I would give it away too soon!
DeleteThat is SO GREAT! And a kid dressed as a shaman to boot. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteI so hate when others outdumbass me. (That's a compliment, for the record.)
Really enjoyed this one, LD.
Thank you Michele. No way I out dumbassed you, but I'm proud to be in the same company!
DeleteI laughed out loud, but my coworkers think I am nuts anyway, so I don't care. This was brilliant. I liked the way you set up the twist, especially.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Tina.
DeleteEvery time I come back and visit you, you get better and better as a writer.
ReplyDeleteThanks Marie, I think. :)
DeleteYou had me going right to the end, nice work!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jen.
Deletehah, such a cute twist at the end!
ReplyDeleteThank you Lexy.
DeleteFunny take on the prompt. Thanks for the interjection of humor. Come on back soon.
ReplyDeletePhew! You had me going there for a minute and I love when that happens!! So much fun this is!
ReplyDelete