Friday, November 30, 2012

The Emperor's Pursuits

Emperor Nicholas, having crushed the revolt, was on the prowl.  The Empress could not have sex, due to frequent heart attacks. Word of his prowess spread and he had no trouble getting chicks.

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I wrote this for the Trifextra Week 44 Writing Challenge where we are to write a 33 word composition about the Decemberist Revolt, triggered by Emperor Nicholas I assumption of the throne in Russia in 1825. 

I admit, I went a tad beyond writing about the revolt, but I couldn't resist when I learned about this historical tid bit. 

Your comments are appreciated.

Friday, November 23, 2012

My Urges

In my cold, dark room,
I have urges
I need to act on these urges

I love things...

Young children
Animals with cloven hooves
Small, bearded men
Stockings
Plump women
Ho ho ho!
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I wrote this for Trifextra 43 where we are supposed to write about "our" favorite things in exactly 33 words.

Your comments are appreciated.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Photo Essay






"Please stop yammering at me.  I guess it would help if I covered the other ear!"


 
"The Grand Trunk Highway carries many industrious commuters on any given work day."




"Here is the 'art work' I'm making for you in shop class.  If I could only figure out how to fill in the blank.  Insane?"
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I wrote these captions for the Trifextra Week 42 Writing Challenge.  We are required to write a 33-333 word piece using all of these photographs. 

Your comments are appreciated.          
 

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Ride


Gina and I are participating in the Trifecta Week 51 Anniversary Challenge, where we are each supposed to write a 33-100 word composition which completes the story provided in italics below. Here is the first installment.



Charts and optimal dates and preferential temperatures. One line or two. As if she could summon whatever it is that makes up the human soul as easily as she could a cab on a busy New York avenue.

 
To Matt, all that scientific stuff sounded like bullshit; he just missed her too much! He hired a limo to pick up Becky at La Guardia and planned a romantic night in Manhattan.  They kissed as she got in the limo.  But he couldn’t keep his hands off her; he ran his hand up her thigh, past the hem of her short, black skirt. He kissed her neck and breasts and progressed until his lips met his fingers, her skirt now being up around her waist. As Becky slid down in the seat, he placed his weight on her body.
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Your comments are appreciated.

Friday, November 9, 2012

The Rule of Asses


If you think you are right 100% of the time, then, it is more likely than not (50%+1) you are an arrogant ass or an ignorant ass, or, worst scenario of all, both!
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I wrote this for Trifextra Week 41 where we are to write a 33 word composition that contains a probability equation.

Your comments are appreciated.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Senator

 
Dick Garcia called and said, “We’re going to Tallahassee.” Not entirely surprised, I said, “Sure, Dick, are we going to hire a lobbyist?”  “Fuck no”, Dick said, “We’re going to be the lobbyists!” 

Dick worked for one of the largest mall developers in the country and the zoning approval for its next regional mall had expired. As the attorney for the mall developer, I advised Dick that we needed to amend the zoning law so that we could get an extension.

I protested, “Dick, we’re not professional lobbyists and you know that’s a good ole’ boy system up there…they’ll have us for lunch.”  Dick, in his usual no nonsense way of talking, said, “Bullshit!  You forget Dave, I still have some juice around the state…for God’s sake, I was mayor for 8 years! I know everybody.” 

And true to his word, everyone was happy to see Dick as we made the rounds with dozens of senators and representatives; they all promised to support our bill. But we hit a road block with Senator Buddy Williams (pronounced “Bud-ah” in southern drawl). The Senator had been elected from the Panhandle for the past thirty years and he ruled the roost.  Nothing happened in Tallahassee without Senator Buddy approving it.

But Dick and I couldn’t even get an appointment with him. Ever confident, Dick said, “We’ll just go down to his office and wait for him.  I’m sure he’ll see us.” So we sat in the plush leather chairs in the waiting area of the Senator’s office.  After an hour or so, staring at the mahogany paneling, the Senator walked in with his aides. 

The Senator was a tall, imposing figure.  He walked toward Dick and stopped about six inches away, towering over him. He did not offer his hand:  “Hello ‘Mistah’ Mayor, I heard you were in town. As I recall, ‘ya’ll’ didn’t make a contribution to my last campaign!” The Senator, spun around, walked into his office and shut the door, without saying another word.

A surprised Dick said, “Well…screw him; we still have plenty people to support our bill.”  But, we knew we were in trouble, since the Senator had the power to keep our bill from getting to the floor of the Senate, it would never come up for a vote. Sure enough, as the legislative session progressed, our bill was never brought up.  Even the powerful senator who sponsored our bill couldn’t get it heard.

Since we weren't professional lobbyists, we got some advice from friends who knew how the game was played and we quickly learned that there was more than one way to deal with the Senator. So, in the last hours of the last day of the session, a helpful senator added a “rider” to another bill that was about to “sail through”, an expression used by legislative insiders to refer to a bill which is popular and will likely pass.  That rider was our little bill, which was approved unanimously!

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I wrote this for the Yeah Write #82 Weekly Writing Challenge.

For those readers who are familiar with the legislative process, you will note that I omitted references to the identical process which must be followed in the House of Representatives; however, since we encountered no significant obstacles there, referring to this process would not have added interest value to the story.

Your comments are appreciated.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Cluttered Head


I write because my head is cluttered with random thoughts and ideas; I’d go crazy trying to remember them and so I write a blog for peace of mind (and for cool feedback). 

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I wrote this for Trifextra Week 40 where are are required to write about why we write in 33 words.

Your comments are appreciated.