Monday, October 22, 2012

Prom Night

For the past month, Alexa had  a hard time falling asleep.  She would lay in bed every night and listen to the sounds: the sirens, the howling dogs and the chorus of crickets, which endlessly chirpped a simulataneous shrill chord; sounding like a plea for help. The sleepless nights wore her down.

Alexa was not superstitious, and she was not a particularly fearful person. She never had the first thought that anything sinister would ever happen. Maybe her sleeplessness was the ADD that they didn't diagnose until her senior year, or maybe, it was the stress of having two angry parents. To make matters worse, she was shy and had no real friends. 

Not that she expected otherwise, but when it was clear that no one was going to ask her to the prom, she felt empty and alone. That night, she was especially restless, but oddly, there were no sounds.  She was almost waiting for them; for the familiar comfort they would bring, but they never came.

As she finally drifted off, she heard the sound of her bedroom door closing.  She thought, "Did I leave the door open? Did mom just close it?" But, no, Alexa thought, "It's the middle of the night and mom would have been in bed hours ago."

As she looked up, she saw the unmistakable silhouette of a large man, leaning over her. The looming figure did not utter a word.  The weight on her was opressive. For several moments, she could not breathe. 

She awoke to the sound of chirping birds and the sun shining though the crack in the drapes that never quite closed all the way.  

She found the note on her pillow, written in beautiful script: "Good night my Darling, I will see you very soon."
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I wrote this for Trifecta Week 48 Writing Challenge, where we are required to write a 33-333 word composition using the word "sinister" in the context of something evil. 

Your comments are welcome.

36 comments:

  1. The note gives this a creepy-as-hell vibe o__o

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    1. Yeah. The note is key. Thanks Draug.

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  2. Love it! Want to read more. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Glad you like Harold.

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  3. I can't be reading stuff like this, lumdog. I need to sleep myself and I don't handle the thought of nighttime visitors well or that they'd leave a note. Creepy, scary story, which was the point so very well done! I was holding my breath out of a teensy bit of terror?

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    1. Thanks Gina. I wasn't sure I could pull this off because I don't really read stuff like this, let alone write it.

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  4. Gah! The dreams where someone is standing over you are the worst; I think I'd have a nervous breakdown if I woke up and it turned out someone really had been standing over me.

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    1. Thanks Annabelle. I had fun writing this.

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  5. Oooo... very creepy. The note was an extra 'sinister' touch.

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    1. Thanks Tara. Funny, The note was an afterthought but in hindsight, it was critical to the creepiness factor.

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  6. A visit from the Sandman! Oh, how I wish I could have more of those.

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    1. I forget about the Sandman! Thanks Tania.

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  7. eeek. at least she didn't die! i guess that's good. and now she has the note to prove to people there was someone there and she's not insane or something, right??

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    1. Yes, but now she has to go through another night! Thank you Estelle.

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  8. Well that was disquieting. I like how you leave it up to us to be frightened by what you didn't tell us. Our imaginations do the rest. Nice work!

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    1. Thank you Stephanie. I'm glad that you liked the ambiguity.

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  9. This felt like a creepy combination of 'Where are you going, where have you been" with something slightly more supernatural. I really liked it!

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  10. Love the way you set up her loneliness and isolation. I was expecting something Carrie-esque. And then Whammo. The door, which was creepy enough. Then the man. Creepier still. Then the note. Totally creeped out.

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    1. Thank you Kelly. Your comments are always appreciated.

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  11. that's so creepy!! you almost lean to thinking it's a dream and then the note o.o
    but, the lack of sound, of music, is always a sign for danger, or so the movies have taught.

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    1. Yeah, I tried to be ambiguous as to whether it was a dream or reality. I also think there are two possible versions of reality. Thanks for your thoughtful comments Renada.

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  12. Wow this is creepy. Reminds me a little of a story I wrote about a man with a serious obsession. Creepy notes figured largely in that story too!

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  13. Wow this is creepy. Reminds me a little of a story I wrote about a man with a serious obsession. Creepy notes figured largely in that story too!

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    1. Thanks Natalie. Your story about an obsessed guy sounds interesting and creepy too.

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  14. um.. who was the guy? goodness, this had my heart racing.

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    1. Thanks Bo. I'm glad the story had this effect. :)

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  15. The Boogeyman! And he didn't even use the normal closet entrance. Horrors!

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    1. Thanks Tina. That's funny, my initial thought was the closet, but it's been done before. My character is a bit bolder.

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  16. Creepy! She could've written it off as imagination, but imagination doesn't leave a note. I don't know which is worse - the horror of someone in her room, or living with the threat that he will be back.

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    1. The idea of him coming back was the last little touch Thai I'm glad I included. Thanks Janna.

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  17. The sleepless nights wore her down.
    I'd like to keep this line with me. Gorgeous.

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    1. I wasn't totally comfortable with that line but I'm glad you liked it. Thank you Kymm.

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  18. well that gave me the shivers!!!! not what i was expecting from the casual tone until that point. great write!

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  19. Oh dear. Alexa's visitor sounds a whole lot worse than going all Sadie Hawkins for the dance!!!

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