Friday, September 28, 2012

The End? Part II


She turned and saw his cold stare.  How could it end like this, when they had so much together?  Could this really be happening?  She was mystified, but he never said a word. 

As she thought what she might have done, she was dazed at the possibilities, but none seemed the reason for his reaction: "Maybe it’s just him. I wonder if he will realize this."
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I wrote this for Trifextra Week 35 Writing Challenge where are to to write a 33 word composition which builds on a previous Trifextra entry. For this week's entry, I used my entry for Week 32. The words in italics are my earlier entry.

Your comments are appreciated.

27 comments:

  1. Great job! I only have a couple of Trifextra's under my belt, but I'll see what I've got.

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    1. Thank you Kenya. You are welcome to use one of mine and there are others who have agreed that their's can be used in the comment section of this week's Trifecta post.

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    2. Thanks, I didn't think of that. I used one of mine. ;-) Thanks for the offer.

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  2. That cold stare and nothing being said...I've definitely been in the same position a bazillion times, it seems. I always find myself worrying over what I may have done. I'm too nice, I think, to ever consider it might be someone else's problem/fault, haha. :D

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    1. Thanks Draug. I guess this is a common situation.

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  3. The first part is as chilling as I remembered. I've had the same realization in relationships with others, friends and loves. I would rack my brain, turn all the facts and events and moments around and around totally ready to admit it was me but then...The only logical explanation was "it must be them" and hoped that dear person came to the same conclusion. All relationships are complicated for sure. Very thought provoking, lum!

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    1. Thank you Gina. I imagine this couple have a complicated relationship. I tried to capture what might be going through her mind.

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  4. This makes me wonder about the context! I think too few of us realize that it's not about us in those situations until afterward.

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    1. Yeah, I'm learning this is more common than I realized when I wrote this. Thanks Annabelle!

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  5. Excellent addition, lumdog. I remember how much I loved this one the first time. Still do.

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    1. Thank you Ruby. I appreciate your saying that.

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  7. You captured a moment most of us have experienced. Brought back some powerful memories for me reading this. Great job!

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    1. Thank you so much. It's good to get feedback like this.

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  8. I like her thought process. Glad she realized it just might NOT be something she did. Well done. Seamless flow between the 33s. :)

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    1. Thank you Michele. I tried to communicate uncertainty, while having her begin to put the pieces together.

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  9. A very good extension. It give more insight into her thoughts.

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  10. I wonder if he'll realize this? I love that line. We blame ourselves too often for someone's baggage. Nice work. I like the psychological implications.

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    1. Thanks Stephanie. I struggled with that line.

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  11. Great job expounding on the previous prompt, and also a good reminder that sometimes it's really isn't us... it's the other person.

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    1. Thank you Jeanna. I always appreciate your thoughtful comments, even the one where you made me blush!

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  12. Gulp. That was my reaction -- a lump in my throat. She's in a tough (but sadly familiar) predicament.

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  13. Nice! That questioning of what did I do is so awful. You captured it well.

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    1. Thank you for that comment. I tried to convey her inner turmoil.

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