Friday, September 7, 2012

The End?

The last strains of sunlight lingered in the corners, grasping every available point of refraction.  She slid her fingertips along the glass wondering if this was all there ever was. Or could be.


She turned and saw his cold stare.  How could it end like this, when they had so much together?  Could this really be happening?  She was mystified, but he never said a word. 
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I wrote this for Trifextra Week 32, where are to write a 33 word follow up to the first 33 words provided above.

As always, comments are appreciated. 

53 comments:

  1. The strain becomes so vulnerable. Nice response.

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  2. Very, VERY cold wind just entered that room. Almost gave me the chills. I'd hate the wondering...not knowing...but she has to know something, right?

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    1. It's as cold as can be. Which is sad, because she can't understand why he's that way, given how much they had together. She knows something is wrong. But the mystery is why? Gina, thanks for your thoughts and comments.

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  3. Exactly what Gina said. Well done.

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  4. Cold stare and never saying a word - I guess the answer is yes.

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    1. Well, I tried to allow a glimmer of hope but you're right, based on all the evidence. Thanks for visiting Kenya. I will be reading yours soon. :)

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  5. "he never said a word", that's probably the worst of it. to have that uncertainty, 'mystification' because the other says nothing.
    on an off note: maybe it's just been my experience, but men need to learn to talk more and women less. haha

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  6. Yes, the silence is a killer. I tend to be a "talker", but maybe I'm not the norm. Thanks Renada. I always appreciate your comments.

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  7. We never fully know our lovers. And that is never more obvious than at the end of love. Nice. Mystified.

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    1. Thank you Stephanie. I'm not sure about not really knowing, but you might be right.

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  8. I wonder why it is that one person often seems completely clueless about the end? (I've been on both sides of that one!) Sadly, I think this one's definitely over.

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    1. Thank you Weissdorn. I'm glad both bitter and sweet came through.

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  10. After everything they had together, every dream and every shared thought, she is mystified and he is silent. Beautiful image.

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    1. Thank you Varsha and welcome! You added some details that I had in mind if I were writing a longer piece!

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  11. Silence often says more than any words could convey. I loved how this flowed!

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    1. Thanks so much TMW! I think silence is very powerful!

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  12. Oh, ouch!
    That silence is eviscerating! She wants answers and all she gets is ice. So painful.
    Beautifully captured!

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  13. Silence and closure are not good friends. I like answers, not speculation but sometimes, you don't have a choice, eh?

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    1. I agree on both counts. Thanks for commenting.

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  14. Well done lumdog! I hope the next sentence has something to do with him falling out of his chair and hitting his head really hard! :D

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    1. Actually, Friendship 7 had a misguided splashdown and landed on top of him. He was squished flat. Thanks Linda!

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    2. I'm jumping in here. Couldn't resist! Lumdog, perfect tie in and reply to Linda's response!

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  15. Oh I like yours!! That's chilling and good!

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    1. Thank you Mamatatoo! I liked yours too. We went in opposite directions, but usually I do the optimistic thing.

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  16. Geesh typical man LOL! Sorry shouldn't stereotype. :-) The cold stare would have done me in. Say something, anything! Great job!

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    1. Yeah, say something, anything, is exactly the thought I had in mind. I think some women might do this too! Thanks for your comments Tessa.

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  17. A very credible (and creditable) continuation: I could see this as a Mills and Boon!

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  18. aw man, so good. I didn't read any others until after i wrote mine. we both used the word "mystify".

    I love the raw emotion here. good work

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    1. Thanks Lance. Mystify is not a word I use often but it seemed to work well here.

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  19. I feel the sense of something shattered. Broken can sometimes be fixed. This though, has the sense of finality. Well done, thanks for sharing!

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    1. Yes. Shattered is the right way to put it. My momentary state of mind dictates whether it's finished or there's a small "window". I think the characters will decide. Thank you for your kind words. I enjoyed your piece; that one seems final.

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  20. Sometimes a look says it all. well done.

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    1. Yes. The silence with a certain look might be the most painful thing of all in a relationship. Thanks for commenting Bo.

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  21. This is awesome :D Yep, there definitely is a sense of finality about this piece :) Something has been broken and now there is no way it can be fixed :D Well done! :D

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    1. Well, maybe he could break the silence. And, now that I'm thinking about it, the silence, by itself, isn't the worst part. It's that it signals indifference, which may be the most deadly aspect of this relationship. Thanks for commenting Amy. Btw, I thought that indifference played a role in the sad ending to your post, which was great!

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  22. Well continued. I like the last words.

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    1. Forgot to say, thanks for liking the last words. I thought they set the tone for the whole piece.

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  23. Sucks when it ends so coldly like that. 2 people that were special to each other have already become strangers, looks like. Good job.

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    1. Thanks. I think it more than sucks though.

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  24. Oh, this poor girl! I can imagine her heart is beating out of her chest. Wonderful job of creating tension.

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  25. These moments are never easy. Well worded for this painful moment we all know.

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