I haven't seen Sandy in 6 months. She called the break. We’ve hardly talked. How is this going to work?
I find my seat, 32B, which means I'm in the middle. Shit! I squeeze into my seat. I'm a big guy, but all my body parts stay between the armrests; not so with the Michelin Man in C. And the lady in A is oozing into my space too.
Since Sandy and I split, my attention span is zero, so I pass the time with the in-flight shopping magazine. The Chia garden sculptures and the rocks where you hide your house keys look interesting.
What’s gonna happen with Sandy? Why did she call the break?
Ok, the Uni-Phone-Omni-Continent Outlet-Adaptor-Charger looks great. If I was going to Singapore, I'd buy this sucker.
Man, I have to pee. The three Jack Daniels wouldn't have done it, but I had all that coffee this morning. There’s a line in back, but first class is open. Fuck them, they won't let you go up there, but I’m pretty sure that there’s rule that says I can pee anywhere.
Anyway, I won’t make a fuss; they arrest your ass for less than that these days. I'm standing in line. I know that bathroom is small, but I'd do the mile high club with Sandy in a heartbeat.
Good, we’re landing. I need to get away from the drifting mud slide and grab a smoke. Now we’re driving to the gate, seems like about 100 miles. I feel like, fuck, it’d be quicker if I’d just taken my F-150 the whole way!
Walk outside. No Sandy. Ok, I can have my smoke.
There's Sandy’s van. I get in. I get a kiss. She's acting like nothing ever happened.
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I wrote this for the Trifecta Week 37 Writing Challenge, where we are to write a 33-333 word piece using the word "flight".
Your comments are always welcome.
This was sweet. I love how you jumped between Sandy and the contents of the catalog. That catalog *shrugs* everything is tempting including the puppy dog staircase to the bed and I don't even have a dog nor a bed that would ever need a staircase (I live on a boat, the bed is very low, has to be the ceiling above it is constantly in the way of my head).
ReplyDeletep.s. those seats are way too small!
Thanks. I don't know why, but those silly things do seem appealing when you're sitting on an airplane!
DeleteOh I love this and how you wove your story around the flight. It really pulled me in. I'm so glad everything turned out OK with Sandy! Very entertaining! :D
ReplyDeleteYea, I had fun bouncing back and forth. I was trying to capture the mind of someone with a short attention span. Thanks for your comments.
DeleteWho can resist the in-flight magazine especially as a distraction to a middle seat. Love how you captured his demeanor, annoyance and confusion. Maybe he should have taken his F-150 the whole way. Could have figured out Sandy, maybe, with all that extra time. Don't you just hate when people pretend that nothing ever happened. Hey, at the very least, you got a smooch!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments, especially about the demeanor, etc. I really worked on creating a sort of cranky, but, hopefully, likeable personality. I'm not sure why Sandy acted like it didn't happen, but maybe, she was being merciful?
ReplyDeleteA rule that says you can pee anywhere? lol Glad we don't share a home. Good story this week. It's been a while since I've been on a plane. You reminded me of all the nastiness of it with your story.
ReplyDeleteI knew I'd have to defend the "pee anywhere" line! First, this is NOT, autobiographical. I actually use "offical" bathrooms, whenever possible Lol! Second, I thought that was how this character would articulate the FAA rule that (I think) prevents the airlines from blocking coach passengers from using first class bathrooms. Anyway, I don't suppose the airlines will be lining up to sponsor my blog!Thanks for your comments.
DeleteGreat story!
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteI love the way the mundane details get in between you and the love story. Great piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteIt was fun coming up with those details. My first draft came in at 550 words, so a lot of those cool tidbits were left on the cutting room floor. Thanks for your comments.
DeleteInteresting tone to the post.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Since I created this guy out of my imagination, my story was all about the tone.
DeleteWell, at least there is a happy end to this flight. :-) That was unexpected though. Well done.
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened with Sandy, this had to have a happy ending, just to be free of the oozing blob people! I'm glad that you noted that the reunion with Sandy was unexpected, since I tried to convey the uncertainty in this guy's mind.
DeleteI rather think that they will have some relationship repair in their future, and I'd really love to know what caused her to call the break. Just like him. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what I was thinking. They have some work to do, but it would not have been helpful to download all of the issues right off the bat. I'm glad you liked him. Thanks.
DeleteThis is like a page-turner with a great twist a the end. Great response!
ReplyDeleteThe alternating back to the Sky Mall book was perfect. I think they pump something into the cabin air that makes you want to buy stupid stuff. I've actually flagged pages and taken the book home, but when I look at it a few weeks later, I wonder what I was thinking.
ReplyDeleteLike others, I'm curious why Sandy broke up. I hope this means he gets his attention span back.
I couldn't remeber the name, Sky Mall, when I was writing this, which is too bad, because the name is sort of ironic, all by itself! Everything in the world that you don't need (or really want) is in there :)
DeleteI think the attention span comes back when all is right with them again. Thanks for your comments.
First time here, and I am keeping stride with every cuss word and every mention of The Michelin Man, great use of that image. Hope all is well with you and Sandy... but if she quit you because of the smoking, it's time for patches!! Really wish you well.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog and commenting, it really meant a lot to me to see a new face! Peace, Amy Barlow Liberatore
Ok, I just have to say, this is not autobiographical. If it were, he would have said the f-word many more times ;)
DeleteThanks for the comment about the Michelin Man. I manage to sit next to him and the oozing lady on every flight!
I really enjoyed your piece. Very on target. I didn't really follow the logic of the one negative comment you got. Peace to you too!
I loved how it went right along with his tangent of thoughts. His mind went here and there, but always back to Sandy. And after all that, she acted like nothing happened? Oy!
ReplyDeleteI think "his tangent of thoughts" is a good way to put in. He's mentally bouncing all over the place, with Sandy being the single common thread. Although I have no idea what Sandy is thinking, not having written any more than what's here in this post, I would probably defend her since it might be overwhelming for both of them to jump right in and start hashing out their issues. Thanks for your comments.
DeleteHas a bit of a stream of consciousness feel. Interesting way to do it :)
ReplyDeleteThanks. I was shooting for that. Not quite as intellectual as James Joyce, though! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with Carrie, it does have a stream of consciousness feel to it. It makes it seem more realistic.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I enjoyed trying to write it as a string of thoughts.
DeleteI think the ADHD quality to the piece is great. It adds the perfect touch to the scene without being too overboard.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much.
Delete"She's acting like nothing ever happened." Don't you just love it when something that is so emotional for you and the other person acts like it was no big deal and just goes on as if nothing ever happened? Thing is I would just go on as if nothing happened myself since I don't like confrontations LOL!
ReplyDeleteI think you hit the nail on the head. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI love how they've somehow got us all calling it an "in-flight magazine." Too funny. A pretty technical term, yeah? Great job with the prompt. I think your structuring of the piece really captures the mindset of your character.
ReplyDeleteThanks. It was fun to do write this. Once I figured out who this guy was, his erratic thought process just started flowing.
DeleteVery curious about where the break came from in the first place. The character came through very well.
ReplyDeleteThanks Annabelle.Hard to say where the break came from. At this point, my character has no clue. But I'm glad the character came through for you, because, to me, this story was all about the character.
Deleteyes to all the comments, I feel like this was how our minds work and you wrote it with the same flighty, flipping between this and that, we all do. I really liked it.
ReplyDeleteand of course she acted like nothing happened, that's a woman for ya. :)
Thanks for stopping by and your comments. It was fun to write about what is going on in his head. It's very liberating because it doesn't have to be logical, the way dialogue is supposed to be.
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