The
pride of lions, led by El Jefe, was hunting.
Whippersnapper
lion blurted: “Why don’t we split up so we can find more prey?”
El
Jefe glared disapprovingly at Whippersnapper.
The
Pride resumed.
_____________
I wrote this for Trifextra Week 27 Writing Challenge, where we are supposed to write a 33 word fable.
Your comments are appreciated.
Ha! Brilliant! All it takes is one look to correct insubordination.
ReplyDeleteYea, my mother had this look of disappointment when I screwed up, and it was a killer. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteLove "El Jefe", the boss! Smart Whippersnapper to respond to just a glare. Wish people/kids would respond to me that way sometimes but not happening anytime soon! Loved this one!
ReplyDeleteEl Jefe just flew into my head and I knew that would be the head lion's name. Some day I will write a post about my meeting the man they call El Jefe. Yes, it would be good if it always worked on kids, but sometimes I wonder why adults don't question commonly held assumptions more. Thanks for all of your comments.
DeleteLoved it! All my dad had to do was snap his fingers and my sibs and I snapped to attention. All of our cousins kept doing the bad stuff LOL!
ReplyDeleteI suppose the cousins were not under his finger-snapping jurisdiction! I remember a few aunts and uncles giving me the evil eye and it made an impression!
DeleteEl Jefe is always right. Until Whippershnapper suddenly becomes Jefe. And then...well, El Jefe is always right.
ReplyDeleteRight, Whippersnapper just needs to get some cajones. Thanks for pointing out the circuitous nature of things!
ReplyDeleteI love the ending lines.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I've never written a fable so it was fun to get into the mode.
ReplyDeleteThis was great! I can't believe that managed to fit a beginning, middle and end into a 33 word fable! Awesome job.
ReplyDeleteAs a bonus, I love reading the comments about the various ways that adults have shown disapproval! I personally have a what we call the "Mom voice" and I've been known to use it on people who aren't my kids. Oops. Haha.
Thank you for those comments. Yea, the parental disapproval thing was a take on this that I never imagined. But it's been fun trading experiences :)
DeleteI have the Mama eye - just ask my girls - and THEIR kiddos. :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes it even works on hubbymoose.
I imagine that look could scare heads of state lol! Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteThe pride resumed. Neat.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteGotta have the Mama look. :)
ReplyDeleteDon't recall if I ever had the Dad look, but, if I did, it wasn't effective :/
DeleteGood going, El Jefe!
ReplyDeleteYes, he's the top dog...I guess. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteEl Jefe is my brother-in-laws nickname lol. And I can't tell you how many times I've been called a young whippersnapper in my life. Love it!
ReplyDeleteWell...does this fable have other parallels with your life? I'm guessing the bro-in law has this nickname for a reason lol! Thanks.
DeleteHonour thy father and thy mother!
ReplyDeleteFor sure. Thanks for stopping by.
ReplyDeleteA Spanish lion, I like it!
ReplyDeleteQue machisimo!
ReplyDeleteWhen you're old enough, you can get your own pride and tell them what to do. Till then...
ReplyDeletePretty much what every kid hears - well done!
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DeleteThanks Tomahawk. I appreciate your having highlighted this issue. Sometimes, it makes sense to listen to a new idea, whether it comes from a youngster or not.
DeleteNice. The names were a great touch.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Sometimes, I'm so wrapped up in the story, that the names are a second thought. This has been a good reminder.
Deleteyes, so good! I liked this one a lot.
ReplyDelete