______
I wrote this for the Trifextra Week 57 Writing Challenge where we are to write exactly 33 words in first person narrative.
P.S. Fitch and I plowed into the ground head first. I came out with two sprained wrists, but
Fitch had to have175 stitches in his leg. Ultimately, he was fine.
Your
comments are appreciated.
I'm being a dude with this comment but a horse crash and skin flying are awesome. good job.
ReplyDeleteGlad you saw it that way, Dude. Thanks.
DeleteThe chunks of wood and skin flying, what great imagery! Glad the horse was ok! And you too of course.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer. I hesitated about the skin but I'm glad I left it in.
DeleteWhat a spectacular piece of writing lumdog-loved the rich feel to this piece:-)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Atreyee.
DeleteI'm being a girl and an animal lover with this comment and feeling terrible for the poor horse.. 175 stitches... thank goodness he was ultimately fine... and you too, of course, but wow.. powerful.
ReplyDeleteThanks Steph. It took the Vet a couple of hours to put the stitches in.
Deletechunks of wood and skin flying is about as graphic as it gets. Or as graphic as I care to have it get. *shiver* glad all's well that ends well, lumdog!
ReplyDeleteThank you Kymm.
DeleteThanks for the the follow up note :) Glad you both made it well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sam.
Deleteouch! And . . . what they said, of course. Nicely done in 33
ReplyDeleteThank you Barbara.
DeleteThat is what you get for eating hamburgers with horsemeat.
ReplyDeleteYep, ole Fitch did me in! Thanks Chamblee.
DeleteWhat imagery! I was right there with you, and it was a bumpy ride. Good work!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Tina.
DeleteI haven't ridden for so long and miss it so, poor Fitch :-( but I digress, your words chosen fitted beautifully to what you experienced.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Rambly. Sometimes I miss it, especially the competition. But I don't miss that particular night.
DeleteIt's awful of me but I loved the skin flying bit!
ReplyDeleteI guess the skin is an attention grabber. Thanks Sandra.
DeleteVery graphic. I feel for the horse and rider.
ReplyDeleteThanks BC!
DeleteWhoa, what a powerful moment captured so well! I'm glad both of you came out [mostly] whole (:
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Draug.
DeleteI can visualize it :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks. I appreciate your saying that.
DeleteMy dark side oddly loves a skin flying disaster. I'm glad you both were okay!
ReplyDeleteThanks Gina. I hesitated with including the flying skin, but I'm glad I did.
DeleteThis is great! So visual and intense. I feel for both man and horse! Great job with the prompt!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Suzanne.
DeleteThe guy in me thinks that, if you're gonna crash then, crash spectacularly!
ReplyDeleteThe animal lover in me feels sorry that a horse was hurt in a competitive event designed for humans to enjoy. The writer in me marvels at the amount of imagery you packed in to your 33 words!
Good writing, as always, Lumdog!
Tom, thanks for your comments on all three counts. I too, felt very badly for Fitch, but it is very rare that a horse is seriously injured in stadium jumping. By the way, these horses are pampered more than most people's dogs and cats.
DeleteHow come you sprained your wrists when you were falling head first? Great narrative skills showing here.
ReplyDeleteI stuck my arms out to beard the impact. Otherwise, I would have hit the grounds with my head. Thanks Viv.
DeleteAuto correct alert. Beard = Break
DeleteI hope this is not from experience. Good visual.
ReplyDeleteIt happened just as I told it. As badly as I felt for Fitch, this, at least provided a memorable story. Thanks Ann.
DeleteGlad you're both okay. Nice gritty visual there. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThanks Renee.
Deleteouch. i do believe spectacular would be the most appropriate word for the performance.
ReplyDeleteThank you Renada.
DeleteYow! That's awesome narration, and absolutely perfect, too. It's got a great pace, it tells a whole story, and it alllllmost makes getting hurt and having to have your horse get stitched up worthwhile. Almost.
ReplyDeleteThank you for those kind words Jessie. Since we came out ok, it did provide for an interesting story. Fitch was a little vain about his scar, though!
DeleteVery wonderful and ouch factor portrayed. Great job. I dig horses and glad all ended up well. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Donetta. :)
DeleteOuch! That's definitely a great 33 entry.
ReplyDeleteOuch for sure! Thanks Ruby. :)
DeleteIf you're gonna crash, crash big!
ReplyDeleteYeah, it was a big one. Thank BT.
DeleteOuch to the skin flying. Cool crash, but OUCH!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kenya.
DeleteFantastic.. But I'm glad you are both ok...x
ReplyDeleteThank you Rosalind. ;)
DeleteOuch! I can't even imagine! We live close to an equestrian park in our city and I love watching the horses. I'm not sure I would ever have the guts to jump one over those obstacles though!
ReplyDeleteIt requires a lot of training. But, it has its dangers. Previous comments were more about the horse, but the rider is more likely to be injured in these situations. Thank you Stacey.
DeleteThe last line was the best!
ReplyDeleteThank you Habiba! :)
DeleteWoah!
ReplyDeleteGreat imagery!
Thanks Guap!
DeleteI loved it, specially the last sentence !!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you were both ok! It must have been an awful several moments when you didn't know how badly either of you were hurt!
ReplyDeleteThe silver lining, if there can be one, is that the experience translated into the perfect inspiration for a piece of writing too! I agree with the others-the imagery was excellent in these 33 words!
Thanks so much Valerie. :)
Deletehmmm......... isn't it cheating to add the postscript:-)
ReplyDeleteVery vivid. (RogRites)
Well, most people provide a set up for their entries. I'm about 50/50. In this case though, I expected a lot of questions about how we came out of it so I decided to tell the coclusion. I dont think it added to the story which was self contained. Thanks for your kind words also, Rog.
Deleteyee-ouch. I felt that!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jody.
DeleteHoly cow, vivid description here. Very easy to picture - and feel.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Christine. :)
Delete