Friday, March 1, 2013

Crash

It was nighttime at the championship show.  My horse, jittery under the bright lights, stumbled, then lurched as we approached the high obstacle. We crashed spectacularly, sending chunks of wood and skin flying.
______

I wrote this for the Trifextra Week 57 Writing Challenge where we are to write exactly 33 words in first person narrative.

P.S. Fitch and I plowed into the ground head first.  I came out with two sprained wrists, but Fitch had to have175 stitches in his leg. Ultimately, he was fine.

Your comments are appreciated.

70 comments:

  1. I'm being a dude with this comment but a horse crash and skin flying are awesome. good job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you saw it that way, Dude. Thanks.

      Delete
  2. The chunks of wood and skin flying, what great imagery! Glad the horse was ok! And you too of course.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jennifer. I hesitated about the skin but I'm glad I left it in.

      Delete
  3. What a spectacular piece of writing lumdog-loved the rich feel to this piece:-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm being a girl and an animal lover with this comment and feeling terrible for the poor horse.. 175 stitches... thank goodness he was ultimately fine... and you too, of course, but wow.. powerful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Steph. It took the Vet a couple of hours to put the stitches in.

      Delete
  5. chunks of wood and skin flying is about as graphic as it gets. Or as graphic as I care to have it get. *shiver* glad all's well that ends well, lumdog!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for the the follow up note :) Glad you both made it well done.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ouch! And . . . what they said, of course. Nicely done in 33

    ReplyDelete
  8. That is what you get for eating hamburgers with horsemeat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, ole Fitch did me in! Thanks Chamblee.

      Delete
  9. What imagery! I was right there with you, and it was a bumpy ride. Good work!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I haven't ridden for so long and miss it so, poor Fitch :-( but I digress, your words chosen fitted beautifully to what you experienced.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Rambly. Sometimes I miss it, especially the competition. But I don't miss that particular night.

      Delete
  11. It's awful of me but I loved the skin flying bit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess the skin is an attention grabber. Thanks Sandra.

      Delete
  12. Very graphic. I feel for the horse and rider.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Whoa, what a powerful moment captured so well! I'm glad both of you came out [mostly] whole (:

    ReplyDelete
  14. Replies
    1. Thanks. I appreciate your saying that.

      Delete
  15. My dark side oddly loves a skin flying disaster. I'm glad you both were okay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Gina. I hesitated with including the flying skin, but I'm glad I did.

      Delete
  16. This is great! So visual and intense. I feel for both man and horse! Great job with the prompt!

    ReplyDelete
  17. The guy in me thinks that, if you're gonna crash then, crash spectacularly!
    The animal lover in me feels sorry that a horse was hurt in a competitive event designed for humans to enjoy. The writer in me marvels at the amount of imagery you packed in to your 33 words!

    Good writing, as always, Lumdog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tom, thanks for your comments on all three counts. I too, felt very badly for Fitch, but it is very rare that a horse is seriously injured in stadium jumping. By the way, these horses are pampered more than most people's dogs and cats.

      Delete
  18. How come you sprained your wrists when you were falling head first? Great narrative skills showing here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I stuck my arms out to beard the impact. Otherwise, I would have hit the grounds with my head. Thanks Viv.

      Delete
    2. Auto correct alert. Beard = Break

      Delete
  19. I hope this is not from experience. Good visual.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It happened just as I told it. As badly as I felt for Fitch, this, at least provided a memorable story. Thanks Ann.

      Delete
  20. Glad you're both okay. Nice gritty visual there. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  21. ouch. i do believe spectacular would be the most appropriate word for the performance.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yow! That's awesome narration, and absolutely perfect, too. It's got a great pace, it tells a whole story, and it alllllmost makes getting hurt and having to have your horse get stitched up worthwhile. Almost.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for those kind words Jessie. Since we came out ok, it did provide for an interesting story. Fitch was a little vain about his scar, though!

      Delete
  23. Very wonderful and ouch factor portrayed. Great job. I dig horses and glad all ended up well. :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ouch! That's definitely a great 33 entry.

    ReplyDelete
  25. If you're gonna crash, crash big!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ouch to the skin flying. Cool crash, but OUCH!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Fantastic.. But I'm glad you are both ok...x

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ouch! I can't even imagine! We live close to an equestrian park in our city and I love watching the horses. I'm not sure I would ever have the guts to jump one over those obstacles though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It requires a lot of training. But, it has its dangers. Previous comments were more about the horse, but the rider is more likely to be injured in these situations. Thank you Stacey.

      Delete
  29. I loved it, specially the last sentence !!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm so glad you were both ok! It must have been an awful several moments when you didn't know how badly either of you were hurt!

    The silver lining, if there can be one, is that the experience translated into the perfect inspiration for a piece of writing too! I agree with the others-the imagery was excellent in these 33 words!

    ReplyDelete
  31. hmmm......... isn't it cheating to add the postscript:-)
    Very vivid. (RogRites)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, most people provide a set up for their entries. I'm about 50/50. In this case though, I expected a lot of questions about how we came out of it so I decided to tell the coclusion. I dont think it added to the story which was self contained. Thanks for your kind words also, Rog.

      Delete
  32. Holy cow, vivid description here. Very easy to picture - and feel.

    ReplyDelete