Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Considering The Options-An Exhausting Task

One day in the Oval Office in 2003

Bush:  What are we gon’ to do ‘bout Iraq?

Cheney:  Well, I guess we can invade. They have a lot of people with guns who don't like us very much.

Bush:  What the fuck! Every country's got people with guns.  What else do you have?

Cheney:  We hear they have WMD.

Bush:  What’s that? Women who Menstruate Daily? Heh heh.  Did you like that one, Dick?

Cheney:  Yes sir, that was a good one. Actually, WMD stands for Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Bush:  Oh yeah.  The big stuff.

Former Senior Intelligence Advisor:  Mr. President, not to put a damper on things, but we have no evidence that they have WMD.

Cheney:  Don’t worry about that, we can get evidence, if we need it.

Bush:  Nah, don’ have time. Saddam is a pain in my ass.  You know we can’t trust that weasel.

Cheney:  Ok. Anyway, I’m sure they have WMD.

Bush:  Yeah. Ok, we go in and level the place. And, if there are no WMD, we just go and put 'em there.

Former Senior Intelligence Advisor:  Sir, not to be contradictory, but the U.N. will monitor our activities once we occupy the country.

Bush:  Fuck the U.N.!  They’re a bunch of grab ass wussies anyway.

Later

Bush:  My fellow ‘mericans.  We have received some very alarming information which could jeopardize the security of our nation.  I asked my senior advisors to exhaust all the options and I have determined that we have no choice but to…
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I wrote this post for the Week 65 Trifecta Writing Challenge where we are to write 33-333 words using the word “exhaust”, in the context of considering a number of options thoroughly.

At first, I hesitated to write about something that offered no new information, but the prompt stimulated me to think about a historical event where, despite statements to the contrary, all the options were not exhausted. I thought it would be fun to imagine a conversation about how such an egregious error in judgement was made.

Your comments are appreciated.



61 comments:

  1. This was hilarious in a spooky kind of way. Loved it.

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  2. My family was living in Canada when we invaded. Lots of resentment and questions.

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    1. Yes, it was very disturbing. Thanks Kelly.

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  3. Hilarious and unnerving at the same time. I can easily imagine that it happened just like this. Great stuff, lumdog.

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    1. Thank you Steph. I was thinking the same thing as I wrote it.

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  4. lol - weapons of mass destruction do tend to be the ace in the hole. Nice (hopefully) parody :)

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    1. Thank you Dawn. I'm worried that I may have gotten it right

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  5. Very good parody, enjoyed it. I know Bush also puled aside Chirac, the French president, to inform him Sadam Hussain was 'Lucifer', who was on earth starting his reign, thus directly causing the French to step back..your dialogue was excellent; the address to the nation very real..as always in parody, there is that dark side...

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    1. Yeah, what really happened is almost too dark to imagine. Thanks for your thoughtful comments Managua.

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  6. No, no new information. But it never hurts to have a reminder. Shocking. Still.

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  7. You really nailed Bush and Cheney. I wouldn't be surprised if this was the real conversation! Haha! What a joy to read! :D

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    1. Yeah, the Secret Service called and asked where I got the tapes. Lol! Thanks Linda.

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  8. I always wanted to be a fly on the wall. Well done. (RogRites)

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  9. You should write a British version of this for our Mr Blair. Very clever, and very effective.

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    1. Thanks Sandra. Maybe an idea for a future post.

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  10. ahhh - to be flies on walls throughout history . . . the things we would learn whether the Korean conflict, Vietnam war/conflict, Desert Storm, etc. going back even to the day the first white man set foot on these hallowed shores. I wish it were so simple as to second guess the actions and thoughts of those in power - whether they host a D or an R by their names. Draug - so young to hate. :(

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    1. While I acknowledge that I injected a "hint" of judgement in my piece (lol!), and while I certainly created this dialogue entirely out of my imagination, I believe the basic premise of the piece is predicated on facts which were reported in all media. I agree that it's easy to second guess and there are many cases where I would hesitate to do so, but this is not one of them. Anyway, I always appreciate your comments, pro or con. Thanks Barbara.

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  11. Cheney wasn't evil enough in my opinion. He would have shot the intelligence agent right there and then. Otherwise a good story.

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  12. Yeah, I see your point. Hunting rifle would be awkward in the Oval Office. Maybe a good ole 'merican Colt 45? Thanks for your constructive criticism Joe.

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  13. That made me giggle.... I can hear it in my head as I read it! :)

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    1. Thank you Flippa. I enjoyed writing it. :)

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  14. It's like you were there! Spooky! Now, can you find those missing 18 minutes from Watergate?

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    1. Yeah, that might be an interesting dialogue. I think Nixon's language was even saltier. I'll have to gear up. Thanks Tina.

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  15. You nailed the dialog. I started picturing the characters. It was hilarious in a very sad way.

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    1. Thank you Gina. I've discovered I really love writing dialogue, at least, where the characters are quirky or downright weird. Uh oh! What does that say about me?

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  16. I enjoyed the dialogue - it was written in such a way, I could 'hear' his voice as I read it.

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  17. The conversation heard round the world! I think you were much too kind, lumdog. But yes, the real conversation would be far too dark to imagine. What's the symbol for laughing, but with a sharp pain in my conscience that makes me want to weep?

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    1. So, I wasn't hard enough on them? Jeez, I can't win! :). See Barbara's (Purple Moose) comment, above. She thinks I was too harsh! I'm trying to imagine the symbol you describe. Perhaps a laughing face and a broken heart? Thanks for your thoughtful comments Kymm.

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    2. :) Not so much too harsh - I guess I just think we EACH (myself included) think/know we would do things differently were we in the room . . . and, yet . . . :)

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  18. "Yes sir, that was a good one" cracked me up. All too easy to imagine that actually happening!

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    1. Thanks Annabelle. I'm glad you noticed the little joke that I imagined Bush might have made. Glad you're back.

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  19. This is hilarious & I enjoyed this thoroughly Lumdog-very clever dialogues,infused with lot of tongue-in cheek humour:-)

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    1. Thanks so much Atreyee. I really enjoyed writing this; I seem to be graviating toward doing a lot of dialogue, which I love to write.

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  20. If only this was parody...

    Great job! Though it my my stomach clench.

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    1. That's seems to be the predominant reaction. It's so hard to imagine how all of this could have really happened, but then again, maybe not. Thank you Jennifer.

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  21. This is a fun and interesting take on the prompt. ;)

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  22. Love this Lumdog! Really entertaining - and a little bit frightening, given that it's probably pretty close to the truth... Great job!

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  23. So, you are the brains behind Wikileaks, eh? Nice bit of detective work, Lumdog! :)

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    1. Yeah, if it was only true. Thanks Tom.

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  24. Yeah, that sounds about right. I imagine the conversation was pretty similar.

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    1. I was trying to make it real and a little funny. Thanks Kitty.

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  25. i'll focus my comments on the writing, of course.. which is great, very believable dialog, hilarious lines and certainly a unique take on the prompt...! ^^

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  26. Bush: What’s that? Women who Menstruate Daily? Heh heh. Did you like that one, Dick?
    Don't get too into American Politics - but this had me in hysterics. Liked where you went with this LD.

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