Saturday, January 5, 2013

Smoldering Core

Smoldering core
Harbors time
And memories
Conceals the inner heart

Rocky flow
Carries the mantle
Of a space
With no escape

Crust hard and brittle
Nothing can penetrate
Seeks no reality
Repels love
_______ 

I wrote this for the Week 49 Trifextra Writing Challenge where we are to write exactly 33 words about the earth's layers.

Your comments are appreciated.

45 comments:

  1. This is great! I love how vivid the imagery is - and the emotion seethes just under the surface. Beautiful!

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  2. It's true! We have all that emotion deep inside yet cover it, without revealing, even hiding it, because being vulnerable sometimes hurts. Well done. You can feel it.

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    1. Thanks Gina. I enjoyed writing this.

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  3. I know someone who embodies these words. Great piece!

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    1. Thanks Steph. I think some of this is in all of us.

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  4. Great imagery - can see the person it applies to. "Seeks no reality," is my fav line. Nicely done! :D

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    1. Thank you Dawn. I struggled to find that line. Glad you liked it.

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  5. ahhhh lumdog . . . I do so enjoy your poetic side. :)

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    1. Yeah, that side doesn't come out too often. Thank you Barbara.

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  6. Ooo love the "space with no escape", very powerful and evoked a sense of fear inside of me! loveit!

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    1. Wow! Thanks Kim. I liked that line too. It came to me easily. The rest of the piece was much more difficult.

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  7. Lumdog,the more I read this ,the more it draws me in!"Smoldering core-rocky flow" yet it "repels love"-super like!

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  8. Lumdog! This is really good! You are so full of talent!

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  9. We may have this weekend's winner here! Everything about it is note-perfect.

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    1. Wow Tom, thanks. There are a lot of very good entries this weekend.

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  10. Great descriptions! I especially like the mantle - the space in between smoldering and brittle.

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  11. Wonderful imagery, and poignant word choices.

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    1. Thank you Tara. I really appreciate it especially since this is not my usual style.

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    1. Thanks so much Ruby. Where's yours? This prompt is right up your alley.

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  13. I like this interpretation. It speaks to me (:

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    1. Thanks Draug. Darker than my usual stuff.

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  14. "The memories conceals the inner heart." Beautiful!

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  15. Sees no reality, repels love. This is fabulous.

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  16. "Smoldering core". Yes, I am drawn in immediately. "Seeks no reality" is the best line for me.

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    1. That was the line I struggled to find. I guess it was worth it. Thanks Renee.

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  17. I just love your use of words...I will remember smoldering core beautifully written.
    Joanne Edith

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  18. I just love your use of words...I will remember smoldering core beautifully written.
    Joanne Edith

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  19. "of a space with no escape"--great description! Really nice structure and use of words to depict your smoldering core.

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    1. Sandra, thank you for all those kind words.

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  20. Great use of words. Hard to believe that was only 33 words, very descriptive.

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    1. Thank you Tessa. Being limited to 33 words is either a blessing or a curse. I'm not sure which! ;)

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  21. Lumdog, this might just be my favorite piece out of everything I've read of yours. It's amazingly insightful, and terribly poignant. I loved every word.

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  22. "Harboring" is one of my favorite words, and this piece used it beautifully.

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  23. Harboring time & space with no escape. Familiar with. Excellent piece, lumdog.

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