Harbors time
And memories
Conceals the inner heart
Rocky flow
Carries the mantle
Of a space
With no escape
Crust hard and brittle
Nothing can penetrate
Seeks no reality
Repels love
_______
I wrote this for the Week 49 Trifextra Writing Challenge where we are to write exactly 33 words about the earth's layers.
Your comments are appreciated.
This is great! I love how vivid the imagery is - and the emotion seethes just under the surface. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Suzanne!
DeleteIt's true! We have all that emotion deep inside yet cover it, without revealing, even hiding it, because being vulnerable sometimes hurts. Well done. You can feel it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Gina. I enjoyed writing this.
DeleteI know someone who embodies these words. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteThanks Steph. I think some of this is in all of us.
DeleteGreat imagery - can see the person it applies to. "Seeks no reality," is my fav line. Nicely done! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you Dawn. I struggled to find that line. Glad you liked it.
Deleteahhhh lumdog . . . I do so enjoy your poetic side. :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, that side doesn't come out too often. Thank you Barbara.
DeleteOoo love the "space with no escape", very powerful and evoked a sense of fear inside of me! loveit!
ReplyDeleteWow! Thanks Kim. I liked that line too. It came to me easily. The rest of the piece was much more difficult.
DeleteLumdog,the more I read this ,the more it draws me in!"Smoldering core-rocky flow" yet it "repels love"-super like!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Atreyee!
DeleteLumdog! This is really good! You are so full of talent!
ReplyDeleteThanks Bo. That means a lot.
DeleteWe may have this weekend's winner here! Everything about it is note-perfect.
ReplyDeleteWow Tom, thanks. There are a lot of very good entries this weekend.
DeleteGreat descriptions! I especially like the mantle - the space in between smoldering and brittle.
ReplyDeleteThanks Janna.
DeleteWonderful imagery, and poignant word choices.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tara. I really appreciate it especially since this is not my usual style.
DeleteThanks so much Ruby. Where's yours? This prompt is right up your alley.
ReplyDeleteI like this interpretation. It speaks to me (:
ReplyDeleteThanks Draug. Darker than my usual stuff.
Delete"The memories conceals the inner heart." Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mel.
DeleteSees no reality, repels love. This is fabulous.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kelly! :)
Delete"Smoldering core". Yes, I am drawn in immediately. "Seeks no reality" is the best line for me.
ReplyDeleteThat was the line I struggled to find. I guess it was worth it. Thanks Renee.
DeleteI just love your use of words...I will remember smoldering core beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteJoanne Edith
Thanks Joanne.
DeleteI just love your use of words...I will remember smoldering core beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteJoanne Edith
"of a space with no escape"--great description! Really nice structure and use of words to depict your smoldering core.
ReplyDeleteSandra, thank you for all those kind words.
DeleteGreat use of words. Hard to believe that was only 33 words, very descriptive.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tessa. Being limited to 33 words is either a blessing or a curse. I'm not sure which! ;)
DeleteLumdog, this might just be my favorite piece out of everything I've read of yours. It's amazingly insightful, and terribly poignant. I loved every word.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Christine.
Delete"Harboring" is one of my favorite words, and this piece used it beautifully.
ReplyDeleteThank you Corinne!
DeleteHarboring time & space with no escape. Familiar with. Excellent piece, lumdog.
ReplyDeleteThank you kymm.
Delete