Friday, January 25, 2013

A Noisy Morning

The bed moaned under our weight and my screaming alarm clock radio began to spit out useless information. Suddenly, the door yawned and my clever dog, Raton, strolled in to assess the commotion. 
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I wrote this for the Week 52 Trifextra Writing Challenge where we are to write 33 words using personification, where human traits and characteristics are given to animals and inanimate objects.


Your comments are appreciated.

59 comments:

  1. I'm counting six personifications here! Did I miss any? Very good!

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    1. Thanks Joe. I wasn't sure whether clever dog qualified. If so, then it's seven, but who's counting lol!

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  2. Wow. Love each word equally! Everything's alive!!

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    1. Thank you so much Linda. I hadn't thought of it that way but alive is good! ;)

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  3. asses the commotion..what a great way to personify those morning rituals.

    I loved all the sights and sounds.

    MORNING :)

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    1. Thanks Kir. I guess I described a pretty hectic morning. It was fun writing this. Thanks Kir.

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  4. *puts a pillow over her head* Definitely sensing the Get Up Now quality of the surroundings!

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    1. Thanks Dawn. Glad you liked the urgency.

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  5. Very cool. I had a hard time picking one object and you picked a whole ton.

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    1. Yeah, before I even cooked up the story, I was thinking how many personifications I could come up with. Thanks Jennifer.

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  6. Excellent post Lumdog-loved the door yawning-I saw my window gape at that;-)

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    1. I love that your window gapes. Lol! Thank you Atreyee! ;)

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  7. Oy, I prefer my mornings a bit less intense! Less personality, I guess.

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    1. Same here! At least the dog wasn't barking! Thanks Kymm.

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  8. Seems like you had fun with this one! That makes it fun for the reader, as a result. Thanks for such an enjoyable read. :)

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    1. Thank you so much Tom. I did have fun writing this.

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  9. got a lot going on in in 33 words mirroring the morning - good use of the prompt - my bed moans too....

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  10. and the assessment of the dog? :) perfect

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    1. hey there! It's mah birfday . . . and hubbymoose pulled YOUR name from the hat . . . could you send me your mailing address? prplmoose@kenaiwriter.net will get it to me. I will pop a surprise into the mail this week. :)

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  11. Oh, mornings like that make me want to pull the covers over my head :)

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    1. Yeah, they are the worst. Thanks Janna.

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  12. I see I'm not the only one with a nosy pup! Way to impressively work several examples into such a tight space.

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  13. Ugh alarm clocks. Spitting is such a fitting description of them.

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    1. I was happy when I came up with that word. Thanks Draug.

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  14. That's exactly what big dogs do! They stroll in and assess. Is the dog big? I pictured a big dog.

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  15. This sounds like morning at my house. Wonderful visuals! Great take on the prompt!

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  16. My dog licks my hand that's draped over the edge. I appreciate the entire visual description here. I don't like to be woken up and more strongly dislike the commotion. Pillow placed firmly over head.

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    1. Thanks Gina. I was writing this from memory. No dog, no noise, no alarm. I wake up early on my own. :/ glad you liked the descriptions though.

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  17. Wow, you took the prompt and ran with it! Brilliantly, I might add.

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    1. Tina, thank you for your kind words.

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  18. Well done, master lumdog. I love that your dog is named Raton - is he little like a rat or just looks like one? Or is he a figment of your imagination? This is terrific!

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    1. He's a figment. But he's small like a rat, in my imagination. Thanks Steph.

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  19. Wow. Talk about personifying things. Well done!

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  20. Ok you've out-done us all! Six whoppers! Loved it.

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    1. Thank you Gretchen. I enjoyed your entry, especially the photo.

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  21. Well done! I was struggling for one.

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  22. You made this busy and intimate in just 33 words. *fist bump* lum

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    1. I appreciate that you always leave such thoughtful comments. Thank Lance.

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  23. Oh how I hate a screaming alarm clock, but a good dog entering the scene is so welcomed. A great take on the worst time of the day. :D

    Debbie@ www.debbiesdays.wordpress.com

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    1. Thank you Debbie. Yeah, I hate getting up even though I don't use an alarm clock anymore.

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  24. haha moaning and screaming huh? love it!

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  25. This reminded me of something I haven't used in eons: alarm clocks. Now I need to forget about those intrusive objects of the devil! ;)

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    1. Thanks Marie. I don't use them either but they are an unpleasant memory.

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  26. Ha! Great way to use the prompt to illustrate a typical morning.

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