The
blow causes the tether to break.
The
ball achieves great loft,
ultimately
falling with some force, breaking Jack’s crown.
Jack
tumbles down.
Jill,
in shock, comes tumbling after.
_______
I wrote this for the
Week 84 Trifextra Writing Challenge where we are to write a 33 word composition
which incorporates the words “tether”, “loft” and “crown”.
Your comments are
appreciated.
lol Especially love the title, lumdog!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kymm. I had fun with this. :)
DeleteAnd all this time I thought trampolines were the real backyard danger. The tetherball is coming down tonight!
ReplyDeleteThis made me smile :)
Thank you Ivy. I'm just trying to do a public service. :)
DeleteNew Nursery Rhyme!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Always trying to advance literature whenever I can. :)
DeleteThis is real life. Not that fairytale fluff! Welcome back, lum!
ReplyDeleteThanks Gina. Kids need more grim reality. Next nursery rhyme will be about the Great Recession. :) Glad to be back.
DeleteNext, you'll be cracking wise about lawn darts!!! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, the ever dangerous dodge ball. Thanks Tom.
DeleteHuh...all this time I thought Jack's injuries were work-related (fetching water.) Finally, the truth comes out :) Tetherball is dangerous sport - I've watched my sons play!
ReplyDeleteYeah, OSHA rejected his claim. He's now in protracted litigation with Jill. Thanks Janna. :)
DeleteJill's got a swing on her. :)
ReplyDeleteYep, see my response to Janna above. Jack has sued Jill for negligence and intentional infliction of emotional distress. Thanks Donetta. :)
ReplyDeleteVery nice one! Tetherball is dangerous! Spread the word!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'll try. :)
DeleteGreat take
ReplyDeleteThanks Ruby.
DeleteHa! Love this. Great title, great Jack and Jill interpretation.
ReplyDeleteThank you Suzanne. :)
DeleteThis is why I don't play sports.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you can even loose an eye playing badminton. :) Thanks Draug.
DeleteI especially love your use of the word "loft" in this. I have NEVER liked tetherball! ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks De. I gave my use of "loft" some thought so I appreciate that.
DeleteJack and Jill... sure a lot of fun...
ReplyDeleteI originally thought of something more lurid. That could have been fun. Thanks Bjorn.
DeleteHa!ha!Lumdog!Love your unique take and the way you used the word "loft" :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Atreyee! :)
DeleteWay cool.
ReplyDeleteThanks LaTonya. :)
DeleteAha! So now we know when Jill's life of crime began...
ReplyDeleteExcellent tale!
Thank you Tina. :)
DeleteHmmm... this sounds vaguely familiar... Love It... Nicely Done & Great fun.
ReplyDeleteIt seemed familiar to me when I wrote it and I shamelessly gave in to my baser instincts. Thanks Ted
DeleteI love your take on the prompt with this nursery rhyme! I wish I had thought of this!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Sandra.
DeleteThanks for linking up! Be sure to come back and vote!
ReplyDeleteUnusual and very cool.
ReplyDeleteStill smiling.
Thank you YS. :)
DeleteLove it. Great retelling and use of the prompts.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah. :)
Deleteah! finally the true story. *thumbs up
ReplyDeleteThanks Habiba :)
DeleteAn interesting take on the old nursery rhyme! Good one!
ReplyDeleteAha! The true story of Jack and Jill! Uncensored. Finally.
ReplyDelete