Jill
hit the tetherball.
The
blow causes the tether to break.
The
ball achieves great loft,
ultimately
falling with some force, breaking Jack’s crown.
Jack
tumbles down.
Jill,
in shock, comes tumbling after.
_______
I wrote this for the
Week 84 Trifextra Writing Challenge where we are to write a 33 word composition
which incorporates the words “tether”, “loft” and “crown”.
Your comments are
appreciated.
lol Especially love the title, lumdog!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kymm. I had fun with this. :)
DeleteAnd all this time I thought trampolines were the real backyard danger. The tetherball is coming down tonight!
ReplyDeleteThis made me smile :)
Thank you Ivy. I'm just trying to do a public service. :)
DeleteNew Nursery Rhyme!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Always trying to advance literature whenever I can. :)
DeleteThis is real life. Not that fairytale fluff! Welcome back, lum!
ReplyDeleteThanks Gina. Kids need more grim reality. Next nursery rhyme will be about the Great Recession. :) Glad to be back.
DeleteNext, you'll be cracking wise about lawn darts!!! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, the ever dangerous dodge ball. Thanks Tom.
DeleteHuh...all this time I thought Jack's injuries were work-related (fetching water.) Finally, the truth comes out :) Tetherball is dangerous sport - I've watched my sons play!
ReplyDeleteYeah, OSHA rejected his claim. He's now in protracted litigation with Jill. Thanks Janna. :)
DeleteJill's got a swing on her. :)
ReplyDeleteYep, see my response to Janna above. Jack has sued Jill for negligence and intentional infliction of emotional distress. Thanks Donetta. :)
ReplyDeleteVery nice one! Tetherball is dangerous! Spread the word!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'll try. :)
DeleteGreat take
ReplyDeleteThanks Ruby.
DeleteHa! Love this. Great title, great Jack and Jill interpretation.
ReplyDeleteThank you Suzanne. :)
DeleteThis is why I don't play sports.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you can even loose an eye playing badminton. :) Thanks Draug.
DeleteI especially love your use of the word "loft" in this. I have NEVER liked tetherball! ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks De. I gave my use of "loft" some thought so I appreciate that.
DeleteJack and Jill... sure a lot of fun...
ReplyDeleteI originally thought of something more lurid. That could have been fun. Thanks Bjorn.
DeleteHa!ha!Lumdog!Love your unique take and the way you used the word "loft" :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Atreyee! :)
DeleteWay cool.
ReplyDeleteThanks LaTonya. :)
DeleteAha! So now we know when Jill's life of crime began...
ReplyDeleteExcellent tale!
Thank you Tina. :)
DeleteHmmm... this sounds vaguely familiar... Love It... Nicely Done & Great fun.
ReplyDeleteIt seemed familiar to me when I wrote it and I shamelessly gave in to my baser instincts. Thanks Ted
DeleteI love your take on the prompt with this nursery rhyme! I wish I had thought of this!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Sandra.
DeleteThanks for linking up! Be sure to come back and vote!
ReplyDeleteUnusual and very cool.
ReplyDeleteStill smiling.
Thank you YS. :)
DeleteLove it. Great retelling and use of the prompts.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah. :)
Deleteah! finally the true story. *thumbs up
ReplyDeleteThanks Habiba :)
DeleteAn interesting take on the old nursery rhyme! Good one!
ReplyDeleteAha! The true story of Jack and Jill! Uncensored. Finally.
ReplyDelete