Resolutions: The Real Deal

Mel and Michele invited us to link up and tell the world about our New Year’s resolutions that are likely to be broken.  I started writing about one resolution and for some strange reason, I found that I have three resolutions which are inextricably tied to one another. Here goes, but, I swear, I mean to keep these resolutions, at least, until this gets posted.
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Improve attention span (I’m sure there are some mental exercises I can find on Google to help me with this, except I found this interesting site which...oh yeah, the exercises)

Stop procrastinating (yeah, right after I look up those exercises on Google)

Focus on necessary tasks (right…as long as “necessary tasks” is defined as fucking around)

 

It Only Takes the Proper Diagnosis

Dr. Freundly:  “How long have you been having anxiety and depression?”

Ernest:  “Maybe, six months.”

Dr. F:  “Can you tell me what changes occurred in your life about this time?

E:  “I don’t think anything unusual happened.  Oh, wait…I started writing a blog then.  But what does that have to do with anything?”

Dr. F:  “Well, did you know that writers suffer significantly higher rates of mental illness than non-writers?”

E:  "But, wait a second, my writing has been a release for me.  It allows me to, sort of, unload my frustrations.  You can write things that you normally can’t say to people directly.”

Dr. F:  “Like what?” 

E:  Long pause.

Dr. F:  “Take your time, this could be important.”

E:  “I wrote a post about my girlfriend.” 

Dr. F:  “Ok, that’s a start.  What did you write about her?”

E:  “I wrote that I was, sort of, upset that she had hung out with my brother.”

Dr. F:  “Ok, now we’re getting somewhere. So you were upset about that?”

E:  “Yeah, sure.”

Dr. F:  “Tell me, why did that upset you?”

E:  “Well…I found out they went to bed together.”

Dr. F:  “Oh, I see.  So, did this happen before you were going out?”

E:   “No, they were doing it the whole time I’ve been dating her. And she’s been flaunting it all over town.”

Dr. F:  “I still am not seeing the cause for anxiety and depression.  Perhaps you could tell me exactly what you wrote in your blog.”

E:  “Well…I wrote that if I caught them again, I would set them on fire and hack their bodies into little pieces.”

Dr. F:  “See, this what I meant about writers having higher rates of mental illness. Don’t you see?  Your writing has caused all these problems. It’s just so unhealthy. You need to stop writing and just learn to relax a little. I can prescribe something if you like. Believe me, you will survive.  Same time next week?” 

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I wrote this for the Week 58 Trifecta Writing Challenge where we are required to write a 33-333 word composition using the word “survive” in the context of continuing to function after facing a hardship. 

Thanks to Steph for inspiring me to use the psychiatrist’s couch as a vehicle for this story with her excellent piece, “Salacious”. 

 

Your comments are apprciated.

 

 

 

One Down...A Few to Go!

Children shielded
From blog stories about divorce and subsequent relationships

Upon hearing son’s great news,
I gushed, “I’ll post that on my blog.”

“What…” he said, “…you have a blog?!!!”
One demon exorcised.

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I wrote this for the Trifextra Week 48 Writing Challenge where we are to write about exorcising a demon.

This was a tough story to get across in 33 words.  Even though my three kids are adults, I did not want them to see these particular stories until I thought it was an appropriate time, which probably would have been never, except for my exuberant slip of the tongue. So, of course, they all wanted to read my blog and, with an appropriate setup, they seem to be ok with the stuff I’ve put out there.  At least, they are still speaking to me.  I even got a couple of compliments, though no comments on the touchy stories!

Oh! I should mention my son’s great news. His and his girlfriend’s short film, “All You Can Eat”, was accepted by the Slamdance Film Festival. I am very proud of him!

Your comments are appreciated.

No Answers Here!

I wonder why some people hug
And others shake hands

I wonder why some people talk
And others are silent

I wonder why some people are horrified
And others are complacent

I wonder why some people help
And others hurt

I wonder why some people give
And others take

I wonder why some people love
And others are indifferent
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I wrote this for the Week 57 Trifecta Writing Challenge where we are supposed to write 33-333 words using the word "wonder" in the contexts of either, rapt attention or astonishment about something new or mysterious; or, an expression of doubt or uncertainty. 

I went with the latter of these two, very different, contexts.  I was hesitant about this prompt.  At first, I wasn't motivated, since I felt the responses would be predictable (and, maybe, mine is), but I realized that I wonder about these things, just about every day. So I decided it was worth putting my "wonderings" out there, obvious or not.

Your comments are appreciated.

Managing Expectations

The key to having happy holidays is to manage expectations. Do not cling to fond memories of your childhood. Instead, focus on your blessings:  The relatives, overeating, hangover remedies, bills, etc. Happy holidays!
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I wrote this for the Trifextra Writing Challenge Week 47 where we are to write exactly 33 words about our feelings about the holidays.  We were given a quote by Dave Barry, one of my favorite writers, to use as inspiration:

“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!”

― Dave Barry

I appreciate your comments.

 

What About U.S.?

Of course,
the answer is that we must heal
But the "why" of these killings confounds us

We don't need CNN talking heads
to tell us that he was a disturbed individual
or interviews from school-mates to gain insight

But we need to know why
killings take place,
not just by "disturbed" people

What about Russia?
What about Germany?
What about Rwanda?

What about U.S.?
What about Wounded Knee?
What about Kent State?
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I am writing this post for the Week 56 Writing Challenge, where we are required to write 33-333 words using the word "heal" in the context of restoring purity or integrity.

I don't usually like to justfiy or explain my posts, but in this case, I feel the need to make two points.  We should do everything we can to deal with crazy people and gun control is one of the things which can help.  But my second point is that I don't understand why we are more focused on random acts of violence, when governments have committed acts of violence and we rarely speak up in horror, the way we did this past weekend. 

Your comments are appreciated.

The Law is the Law

Henry Elfman, having done this gig for 180 years, wasn’t pulling his weight anymore. The Boss demoted him. Pride got the better of him and Henry filed an EEOC injunction. Christmas was cancelled.
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I wrote this for the Week 46 Trifextra Writing Challenge, where we are supposed to write a “humorous” 33 words.

Your comments are appreciated.