tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post7582423833829438114..comments2023-06-23T06:53:47.294-07:00Comments on lumdog: The Pastorlumdog2012http://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-6538312513203004852012-07-30T04:58:59.223-07:002012-07-30T04:58:59.223-07:00That's exactly what I was thinking!That's exactly what I was thinking!Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05407917830307384493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-15949844822344475352012-07-30T02:43:28.172-07:002012-07-30T02:43:28.172-07:00I think you could say that. Thanks for your commen...I think you could say that. Thanks for your comments.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-23864835534212474742012-07-30T02:41:50.300-07:002012-07-30T02:41:50.300-07:00Yes, but it may not be exactly what your thinking....Yes, but it may not be exactly what your thinking. :) Thanks for your comment.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-21883529728170005632012-07-30T00:39:25.362-07:002012-07-30T00:39:25.362-07:00I predict this guy's returning his roots! Nice...I predict this guy's returning his roots! Nice opening.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-3306103655726375912012-07-29T22:08:34.066-07:002012-07-29T22:08:34.066-07:00There's a delicious scandal coming on, isn'...There's a delicious scandal coming on, isn't there?The Gal Herselfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02566779726191649848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-4528721360745093152012-07-29T18:05:45.738-07:002012-07-29T18:05:45.738-07:00Thanks for your comments. I want to play with the ...Thanks for your comments. I want to play with the format of how the opener begins. I was thinking the list of possessions isn't noticeable in the rest of the text.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-6216000640558489382012-07-29T17:57:25.762-07:002012-07-29T17:57:25.762-07:00Yea, the "why" behind the fall is always...Yea, the "why" behind the fall is always the big question, but I'm also interested in how pople react to it. My story will deal with that. Thanks for your comment.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-54341388794752223482012-07-29T17:04:10.168-07:002012-07-29T17:04:10.168-07:00Thanks for linking up with Trifextra this weekend....Thanks for linking up with Trifextra this weekend. I think this makes a good setup for a longer piece. You've definitely got us interested! As for the flow of your sentence, I like the other suggestions and I'll throw the idea of a colon into the mix.<br /><br />Hope to see you back again soon.Trifectahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16492626287830278024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-88719070900123107862012-07-29T16:02:20.967-07:002012-07-29T16:02:20.967-07:00Definitely makes me want to know the pastor's ...Definitely makes me want to know the pastor's story--there's a story to a fall of any kind!Sandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16187306461239093068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-34141957316685188582012-07-29T09:29:34.083-07:002012-07-29T09:29:34.083-07:00Thanks for your suggestion and clarification. At ...Thanks for your suggestion and clarification. At first, I was trying to picture what dashes between each of the things would look like Lol! I think the separation from the rest of the sentence is a good idea, though. Thanks again.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-82627552015337945762012-07-29T09:05:06.345-07:002012-07-29T09:05:06.345-07:00I should say -- from the rest of the sentence, not...I should say -- from the rest of the sentence, not from each other!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-61234718202980607332012-07-29T09:04:42.476-07:002012-07-29T09:04:42.476-07:00Nice. You might consider setting the list of thin...Nice. You might consider setting the list of things he has apart with dashes or something instead of commas; I think it might improve the flow.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-86384523880401030882012-07-29T06:41:47.085-07:002012-07-29T06:41:47.085-07:00Thanks for the comment about being true and timely...Thanks for the comment about being true and timely, that was part of the inspiration for my writing this.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-17277474746634919922012-07-29T05:53:52.113-07:002012-07-29T05:53:52.113-07:00This is so true and timely. I'd love to know w...This is so true and timely. I'd love to know what knocked the pastor off his pedestal.Tara R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02993625193184914299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-6358701956442108212012-07-28T18:41:00.178-07:002012-07-28T18:41:00.178-07:00I appreciate your comments. I've enjoyed readi...I appreciate your comments. I've enjoyed reading your blog.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-2059061918552196602012-07-28T15:33:30.209-07:002012-07-28T15:33:30.209-07:00Wow. You captured me. Nice job.Wow. You captured me. Nice job.According to Mags...https://www.blogger.com/profile/13525785322905641105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-9006937286528935362012-07-28T14:15:06.653-07:002012-07-28T14:15:06.653-07:00Thank you so much for those comments! I think I...Thank you so much for those comments! I think I'vve seen quite a few winners this weekend.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-36179617942269064692012-07-28T14:13:03.612-07:002012-07-28T14:13:03.612-07:00I would say he has a back up plan, of sorts. Than...I would say he has a back up plan, of sorts. Thanks for your comments.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-56634213402348838582012-07-28T12:37:13.891-07:002012-07-28T12:37:13.891-07:00Loved this. Definitely a winning first line.Loved this. Definitely a winning first line.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03554662447246962880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-42702792215613770072012-07-28T10:52:49.940-07:002012-07-28T10:52:49.940-07:00The higher you reach, the harder you fall. I hope ...The higher you reach, the harder you fall. I hope the pastor has a backup too.Whispering Thoughtshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00545008138362955040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-76649435797769138172012-07-28T10:40:29.081-07:002012-07-28T10:40:29.081-07:00BTW, while I might be wrong, I liked the laundry ...BTW, while I might be wrong, I liked the laundry list since I thought it conveyed a sense that he had amassed a list of "possessions."lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-41495102813729188982012-07-28T10:31:31.107-07:002012-07-28T10:31:31.107-07:00I had considered more of a build up to the trappin...I had considered more of a build up to the trappings of wealth but for this exercise , I needed a grabber in 33 words. Thanks for your helpful thoughts. I may go back to this when I write the story.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-55077585589279942242012-07-28T09:51:05.705-07:002012-07-28T09:51:05.705-07:00I like the idea of a pastor having so much persona...I like the idea of a pastor having so much personal wealth, definitely not what you expect for a man of the cloth :)<br /><br />However, I'm not sure a laundry list of things is the best way to begin. I think you could show the reader more effectively the wealth by breaking it up a bit more, rewording...obviously something difficult to do in 33 words but keep that in mind as you write the story :)Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03472645003197467754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-91903641328535322712012-07-28T09:37:46.535-07:002012-07-28T09:37:46.535-07:00Thank you for those kind words.Thank you for those kind words.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8720684398303804348.post-73839403865595422432012-07-28T09:34:13.844-07:002012-07-28T09:34:13.844-07:00I hope you didn't say that because you think I...I hope you didn't say that because you think I have a small head. Lol! Actually, i see this as a hybrid poem/short story.lumdog2012https://www.blogger.com/profile/04898266027462039531noreply@blogger.com